tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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