No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
