will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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