I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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