what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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