Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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