I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
