wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
my poor anus
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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