Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
