wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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