Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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