Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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