people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
How naked do you want me to be?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
