We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
