Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
