it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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