how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
two words...techno handjob
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
