I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Terrible idea I love it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
