physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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