windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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