I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
