When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
