I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
