So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
