when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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