It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
As shirtless as possible
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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