Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
