ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
