I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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