i need an iv and a liver transplant
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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