my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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