i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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