just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
