oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
