Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
