So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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