Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
