You can't motorboat a personality
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
