oh god the rape fog is back!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She made me pour olive oil on her.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
