Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
