who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
