she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
