i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sarcasm needs its own font
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
