I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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