Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
