i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dear god my vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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