The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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