winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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