and she was petting her beer can
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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