I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
