You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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