What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
